the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
