We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
