So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize