Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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