haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
