hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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