Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
