My liver just broke up with me...
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
