I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
