Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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