We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
