4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize