I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Even my vagina gasped.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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