i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
