In the future we'll all be gay
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
