the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
