You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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