nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
