I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
