Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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