Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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