the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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