i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
50% drunk capacity currently
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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