We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
