I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Can you bring me the toilet please
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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