Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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