Please, let me fuck your mom
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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