all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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