I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
