Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
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