she looked like the bat from fern gully.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
