Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize