u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
