Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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