I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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