Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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