Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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