Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Oh god it's open bar.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
