I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
