do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
