All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
