When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
