i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
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