There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
