When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
