I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
nutella sex= disaster
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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