He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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