Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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