Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
