I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
The adults are the big ones right?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
