I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
