When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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