We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize