What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
