I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
