i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
