I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
