I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
