and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
