we're blogging at a bar
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
